Recently I’ve noticed the development of some Clint Eastwood lines, and I don’t mean the kind like, “Go ahead, make my day.” or “Right turn, Clyde.” I mean those crow’s feet that Mr. Eastwood probably earned by staring into the sun in a few dozen Westerns (or maybe he was just born at age 40, which is also my Robert Redford theory).  I’m not ready to reboot The Good, The Bad and The Ugly quite yet, so I thought I’d get a jump start on attempting to thwart these lines from developing any faster without spending a fistful of dollars. (oh yeah, that joke just happened…)

Still from Warner Bros. 1973 film, Magnum Force

I was a bit overwhelmed by the skincare aisle at my local Wal-Mart. They have a cream for everything in a slew of price ranges. I wanted to go straight for the expensive old lady serious wrinkle cream, figuring if I just have a few lines and it’s for deep lines it would work better. However, I did a bit of research and decided I would go with a reasonably priced trio of products by Neutrogena called the Healthy Skin Anti-Wrinkle System. It was only a little over $20 and had good reviews online and won some type of Allure magazine best-of award.

Neutrogena Healthy Skin Anti-Wrinkle System via neutrogena.com

I used the system for the first time last night. I was a bit skeptical that the Fresh Foaming Cleanser  would remove all of my makeup (I washed my face with just my hands, as it directed) as I have never had good results without using a makeup remover cloth before or after a face wash to make sure I get all of my makeup off. I used the face wash and then tried a Pond’s makeup remover wipe on my face to test how well it removed everything. Barely anything came off on the makeup wipe, so I think it did a pretty decent job.

The next step was the SPF 15 Anti-Wrinkle cream, which went on like any moisturizer and didn’t really have a fragrance of any kind. It said it may irritate the skin, but that it was normal and to skip a day if it did. I haven’t noticed any irritation as of yet. The third step was the eye cream that it said to apply to the under-eye area, but I also applied it a bit to the sides. There was a warning on it that said it will make the skin sensitive to sunlight (as in cause a sunburn easily) and that you should keep the area out of sunlight if possible.

Too bad the SPF 15 cream doesn’t go on last, but it says to keep away from your eyes anyway. If there is one thing I’ve learn about skincare products it is that the stay-out-of-the-sunlight-to-avoid-sunburn-warning is very real. I haven’t been out in the sun, but my foundation is SPF 17 so I am hoping I’m good when I do go out. I think sunglasses will effectively cover the areas where the cream goes also, so I should be good as long as I remember to bring/wear sunglasses.

We are going on a short weekend trip to a wedding soon where I will spend most of a couple of days out in the sun, so I will report back if my eye area gets fried. I am going to try my hardest to use these products every night for 4 weeks, as that is the amount of time all of the various results the box touts can be seen. I will do a follow-up post on how well I think everything is working.

Or I might just post a video of myself squinting into the sunlight saying various Clint Eastwood quotes.

I must take a moment from all of the recent Christmas and New Year’s hullabaloo and share with everyone the most wonderful holiday discovery I’ve made to date. A few days before Thanksgiving, my father made a cheese ball…and so it began.

This was not an ordinary cheeseball, but something much more, my first words upon tasting it were, “Ugh. It tastes like it has too much garlic!”.  Then I tried some more, turns out there was no garlic at all. Then I tried some more…and have had at least one cheeseball a week since Thanksgiving. It’s an addiction, an addiction that starts with an unassuming glass jar full of Armour dried beef. A little glass jar that you will have en mass if you too fall under the cheese ball spell.

This cheese ball originates with Armour’s recipe for “Beefy Cheese Ball”. Here is Armour’s recipe:

• 1 2.25 oz jar Amour Sliced Dried Beef, rinsed, finely chopped
• 1 8oz. package cream cheese, softened
• 1/4 cup sour cream
• 1/4 cup grated Parmesan cheese
• 1 tsp. horseradish
• assorted crackers

Combine 1/4 cup dried beef, cream cheese, sour cream, Parmesan cheese and horseradish, blending thoroughly. Refrigerate mixture 15 minutes. Form into a ball and roll in remaining dried beef. Chill thoroughly. Serve as an appetizer with crackers.

Now, actually making a cheese ball seems like too much work, so here is my recipe for making this into a dip:

• 1 2.25 oz jar Amour Sliced Dried Beef, finely chopped
• 1 8oz. package 1/3 less fat cream cheese, softened
• 1/2 cup sour cream
• 1/4 cup grated Parmesan cheese
• 2 green onions, washed, finely chopped
• Ritz crackers

Place the cream cheese in a glass mixing bowl and place in microwave for 30 seconds. Mash/mix it with a fork until it is creamy and add in the sour cream. I am guessing it’s 1/2 a cup sour cream, it’s two heaping dinner table spoon’s worth. Mix the cream cheese and sour cream well. Chop up the onions and add them to the mix. Chop up the beef, I don’t rinse it because it sticks together and doesn’t mix well when rinsed. I keep the beef stacked and cut it into thin strips lengthwise and crosswise. Mix the chopped beef into the bowl, once everything is well blended, add in the Parmesan cheese.

The extra sour cream makes it a dip consistency…which comes in handy since I never actually rolled the cheese ball into a ball, I just ate it out of the bowl anyway. You can transfer the dip to a decorative bowl or leave it in the glass mixing bowl if you don’t have to impress anyone. Try it, it’s awesome.

Last year I didn’t make any resolutions, but had the same few ideas floating in my head and hoped I would accomplish one of before the year was out (wait, is that the same thing?), most of which I’ve been trying to accomplish for many years. They were to go on a commercial flight (I feel really lame being closer to 30 than 20 and never having done this, the fact that I have no idea what to do at an airport freaks me out), and/or go on a vacation or get to use my passport.

I didn’t accomplish any of them in 2011, but maybe I will in 2012. I will have lead a horrible depraved life if I don’t get to do these things, obviously. I think the most awesome thing I did in 2011 was go to a Foo Fighters concert. Best concert I’ve ever attended. Those guys know how to make you feel like you got your money’s worth.

I’ve decided to make a few reasonable resolutions for the year, actually, they are more like intentions. So, you know, none of that diet and exercise stuff.

1. Take better care of my teeth.

I can’t say that I will stop drinking sodas, however, brushing and flossing more frequently and using my fluoride treatment sounds like something I can handle. After two oral surgeries and two rounds of braces, fillings to cover my braces spots, and constantly drinking sodas – I really need to step up my game so I won’t have many other problems.

I have already enlisted new tech gadgets to help in this resolution, a Philips Sonicare Essence 5300 and a Waterpik Ultra Water Flosser. Seeing as teeth are your life long pals, I figured it was a sound investment. Where have these been all of my life? Why didn’t anyone tell me to use these sooner? After using these, using a regular toothbrush and floss seems like the equivalent of  cleaning your teeth with sticks like in the pioneer days.

Both of these technological advancements are pretty awesome and I plan to do a separate post on them.

2. Update this website more.

I am in a constant state of wanting to post everything and being weird-ed out that whack jobs will creep me all at the same time. Over the past few years I’ve gone through cycles of publishing stuff, then taking it down. Oh well, creepers gonna creep, haters gonna hate and what not. I am hoping to update my site at least once a week, and stop making excuses like, “I don’t have all the plugins I want installed” and “I don’t like this theme, I’ll post more when I find a good one to tweak” and “I’m pretty sure a serial killer just used my contact form”.

I have always liked to write, but have gotten a little rusty at cranking out the witticisms. I need to start honing on the ol’ blog again.

3. Take more DSLR photos

I just have the feeling that one’s not gonna happen. I should just upgrade from the iPhone 3GS to the 4S…

 3. Keep a cleaned and organized house/car/office/desk

As I look around my desk, here are just a few things on it: empty soda cans, the TV remote, purse, billfold, new house shoes I got for Christmas, random junk from my car, a Swiffer, and the list could go on…

I know I will never achieve zen-like minimalist organization, but I would like to make sure everything has a place and everything is in said place. You know, and not, say, getting chewed up by the dog.

Dyson should send a vacuum to my parents for quality testing – they’d have that sucker (pun intended) clogged up and emitting funky odors within minutes.

Vacuum cleaners, meet your match:

Maxinator Rex

This is Max, 80+ pounds of fur and milkbones. Sure vacuum, you’ll start out fine – just like all the others. However, before you know it, there will be enough hair in you to build a Chihuahua a day. That’s not so bad, right? That is, after all, your job. They will just change your bag, or empty your canister and your worries will be over. Of course they will, but vacuum, what IS that smell? Oh my gosh, that’s dog. Oh! Why do you smell like dog when the house doesn’t smell like dog? Heck, the dog doesn’t even smell that bad on the worst day.

I’m sure they can just change your filter, and wipe down your insides and you will smell like roses. WRONG. You still smell like dog when you are used. In fact, the only way to combat your chronic case of the dog smell is to instate a “make sure no one comes over until at least a hour after vacuuming” rule so your smell won’t make them look bad. While you will clean the carpets and furniture beautifully, no one will appreciate you because of your pungent odor. It’s a hard life being a vacuum. Though there will still be some life left in you, no one will take you in smelling like that, and you will be relegated to the curb. A new vacuum will take your place, thus beginning another vicious cycle.

Now back to me…

Kenmore Powerhead Canister, in lovely Mambo Blue

Ok, maybe this example was a teeny bit dramatic, but I’m sure you guys get the picture now. My parent’s dog ruins all of their vacuum cleaners by making them smell like dog, and then my mom feels bad because the vacuum still works fine. So her solution is to ask me if I want the old vacuum. The answer is always no. I did however inherit a nice (or nice before it sucked up Max hair, anyway) upright Dirt Devil vacuum that my parents used to use in their business. Max stayed at the business some, but I didn’t think the vacuum effect would be too bad. Well, it was doggy, but after cleaning the canister and filter and regular use on non dog-haired carpet, it stopped smelling. YAY.

I am now convinced that I am death to vacuum cleaners. The vac is maybe 3 years old and several months ago, the step switch got stuck. Now the only way to turn it off is to unplug it. This week it started tracking dirt all over the carpet. I decided to  to use my old vacuum, a practically new Eureka. I swear the barely used vac is worse than the broken one.

My parents have recently moved and are installing a central vacuum system in their new house to contain all dogginess in a large metal canister mounted in the garage. Why does that make me think of the containment unit in Ghostbusters (a hairball the size of Manhattan!?) I will soon be attempting to de-dogifiy their old but good Kenmore canister vacuum even though I’ve thought it was impossible in the past. Wish me luck.